Did you find your wife, or did you look for her?

One may ask… Gift Zawadi Love, what do you mean?

Finding means to encounter, to meet, to discover, to come upon.

Finding is not always because of looking, you can find something you were not looking for. Adam was not looking for a wife but he found one. He discovered, met, came upon Eve when God woke him up.

Looking means to go in search of.

Finding is often effortless and in the case of finding a wife, it is supernatural.

Looking for something requires effort. It is not supernatural but natural. In the case of marriage, it is fleshy and not of God.

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV)

Many men looked for and still are looking for a wife. Many coaches on social media tell men how to find a wife or wives how to find a husband. It is good to have knowledge, but it is also good to understand our lane and God’s lane. Is there scripture which states that it is man’s duty to look for a wife? What does a wife look like? Not just any wife, but your wife? Your suitable helper? How do you know what God has put in her to help you? Is she equipped to assist you with your created purpose?

Many men are in tears and others have died from stress, some depressed and oppressed, and have vowed never to get married again because they have been broken by their choices of wives. Like a lock and key, there is a wife customized for you. There is the one whom God has equipped with all that you will need help in to be fruitful and to multiply.

When God created everything and gave Adam the stewardship of it all, Adam was busy working until God saw that Adam needed help.

^“The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.” Genesis 2:15 (NIV)

A helper is someone who brings strength and expertise where needed for productivity to prevail. Adam was already on task, God saw the need of a helper from Adam’s faithfulness in His task.

“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”” Genesis 2:18 (NIV)

God then, from Adam, created, customized, and brought to Adam his helper. Some men are tasked from the earthly perspective to look for a wife for themselves. Some cultures even have others looking for wives on behalf of another, arranged marriages, others have pressure to get married at a certain age, while others marry for status.

Marriage only came into play after Adam was busy on his task and it became too much that he needed help and a suitable helper called wife was formed not from scratch, but from him. Why from him? because he needed someone who matched his needs and assignment. God never creates helpers from scratch, but from the husband so they can be suitable like a lock and key.

A key is cut for a specific lock so that it fits perfectly together. God has a wife for those who are on task and need help, cut out from and for them. Whatever you do not have and you need, the helper will be equipped for you. God is the only one who knows who your helper is. When He brings her to you, be sure to find her. Adam found Eve and exclaimed… “this is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh!” He found his one!

Genesis 2:23 (NIV)

“The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.””

Has God brought you a wife and you did not find her? I once had someone ask why God gave him a wife who had everything he did not have. His weaknesses were her strengths, and he felt intimidated instead of blessed. He eventually lost the wife due to lack of stewardship of the gift and favor God had given him, and God said to me; I had given him a wife equipped to strengthen him in all his weaknesses and complement him but he missed it. He missed it because he believed a lie that the husband should have it all together, and he was intimidated by her instead of tapping into the help he was blessed with in her .

Have you looked for a wife and found the shell, that is the body you want but the spirit is not equipped for you? Is it no wonder we have many marriages breaking because men have taken up God’s task and are playing God in match making? What of the women who are looking for a husband? Do you know what assignment God has assigned the man you are going after? Is it compatible with what is in you? As a wife, should you be looking or should you be found?

Marriage is spiritual. It began with God and will end with Him. He meant it for assistance and compatibility in our God given tasks. No one should get married without knowing their created purpose, because this is the compatibility needed in marriage or the marriage will not be done God’s way. May we allow God to be the match maker, spouse connector. May husbands find their wives when God brings them their way, and may the wives be ready to help their husbands when God assigns them one.

 

In Christ’s Love

Gift Zawadi Love

HGIM